How to Live well mentally and physically...
We cannot control what happens to us in our lives, the experiences and events in our lives that happen to us. We can't control what other people do, we can't control how our life pans out, we can't even control the weather! All we can control is how we respond to the life experiences that we face, the circumstances and the external situations.
It's how we deal with them when they happen, we each have a choice what we do and how we act and behave in certain situations and what we do and how we feel about things.
There will always be things to worry about or fear, but it's our choice how we deal with the situations that we face. We all have a choice to see the situation for what it is, accept that there are things that we have no control over, all we can do is to be ourselves, to be balanced in our knowing of who we are, what we are doing each day to help ourselves and to live our lives to the best of our ability and to make the most of everyday. This is all that we can do. We need to manage our expectations, for us all to value ourselves enough to be able to look after our everyday needs and to accept what is.
That is all that we can do. We need to focus more on what we can do, instead of what we can't do and to avoid the fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and pain when it is unnecessary.
As a qualified mental health practitioner and a holistic life coach, I help people to grow and to become more acquainted within themselves and to improve the quality of their lives, or to improve their performance by talking through problematic situations.
I help people to set and achieve goals, improve their relationships, improve personal effectiveness. By helping to direct a person along a path leading from their present state to their desired state. To what it is that they want or need more of in life.
I have found that these 6 ways, which I believe are the nuts and bolts that we need to know and that we all need to follow, that allow us all to live well mentally and physically and to have a healthy robust mental health: (Grab yourself a pen and a piece of paper and be ready to ask yourself some questions truthfully and honestly to yourself, so that you can transform your life to how you want it to be. Let's get started...)
1. To Know Yourself
To really know yourself and who you really are on a deeper more spiritual level. What you like and what you dislike are key to knowing more about the authentic you.
How you live your life? how you act and behave? what makes you feel good?
When we see or experience negative things or situations that upset us, this pulls us down. Instead we need to bring back focus on what makes us feel good about ourselves and who we really are? We are all unique and we are all meant to be different in so many ways. Different is good and interesting.
We have to know first what makes us happy, what brings us joy and lights us up? This is who we really are.
You can only make yourself feel better through yourself alone, and through the process of learning to love and accept all aspects of who you are, from what you love, what you enjoy doing, how you live your life, your passions, how you act and behave.
And to fully accept all parts of who you are, how you live and what you do 100%.
I write about this a lot in a lot of my blog posts that I produce each month, and one of my most recent blog posts - Types of Self-Care For Your Mental, Spiritual & Personal Needs - Easily Implement Them In Your Life
I state how important it is for us all to really know ourselves, such as -
Knowing what you value and what is important to you?
What your interests are?
What's you innate preferences are in life?
What do you like and not like?
When do you like doing activity wise - your biorhythms - are you a morning or night person?
At what time of the day does your energy peak?
What's your Life Mission and your Meaningful Goals that you have?
What have been the most meaningful events of your life?
What are your strengths and skills?
Your character strengths and talents that you have?
Acting on self-knowledge and self-awareness of who you are, will give you energy. You will feel freer and stronger, because you no longer conform to societies values, and how you "should" feel, act, think and be like.
You will already know what is important for you, and make sure that you are living that life to the best of your abilities.
It's our deep core beliefs and our values. Which is formed through awareness of yourself, and to live an authentic life. Letting go of conditioned thoughts and discard ideas, beliefs and destructive emotions which no longer serve you. As we each have a deep down knowing within us, what is true and what is not true. We need to acknowledge our limitations and to work towards our passions and interests.
It's about honouring your true self. - By living a life congruent with your highest values. Knowing whats most important to us and expressing our wants and needs. Dismissing everything that interferes with your dream and embrace everything that encourages it.
To let go of self-hatred, fear, unnecessary obligations, doubt, naysayers and the past. Instead honour yourself with kindness, encouragement, time, compassion and effort, support, belief and love. And accepting all parts of you 100%.
We can make peace with what we do have and what we don't have. By making peace with who we are and being comfortable in our own skin. We then become grounded in our life. Where you can make wise decisions for yourself and in your life.
2. To be Responsible
What it takes to transform your life is to take full responsibility for everything in your life, what you do, how you look after yourself, how you conduct yourself in a day-to-day capacity, the role that you take in your life is your responsibility and no one else's.
What you feed yourself, how you take care of yourself and your health and wellbeing, what you choose to watch and consume through social media and TV, how much sleep you get, when you get up and when you go to bed, how much work you do or don't do, and how you conduct yourself in front of others on a day to day basis.
It also takes decisiveness, commitment, hard work, dedication, self-control, discipline, integrity, patience, perseverance, transparency and authenticity. It's only when we start to develop ourselves in these areas, that we become more responsible and empowered, that we begin to see results.
You are responsible for your life, what you eat and don't eat, your emotions, your outcomes, the results and consequences that you get in your life. We cannot blame anyone else for anything regarding our life in any way. No one else is at fault, but our own. We need to fully accept this and to work with what we already have to make our life productive and more conducive, than what we may have right now. Its only us that can change the way that we live, the way that we think, how we talk to ourselves each day - with our self-talk, and how we manage our time, our emotions and our feelings.
This is key to having a healthy and robust mental health and wellbeing for us now and for us in the future.
This is what I do as a mental health practitioner. I am here to help people to practically grow and mature. I also share insights, lessons, encouragement, patients, unconditional acceptance, kindness and generosity. By seeing where you are at, as we will all walk down this same road at some point in our life and by listening, responding to understand, being available, open, non judgemental and unconditionally accepting of you and where you are at.
I also help them to solve their own problems, creatively seeking solutions. Remember that problems are opportunities for growth or to learn, develop and improve with new strategies and to overcome problems.
You get to choose if you really want to grow and change, or if you want to stay the same.
Ask yourself some of these questions honestly and truthfully:
Q. What are you willing to change in your life? If you don't like your life, do you want to stay the same or do you want to improve and become better?
You get to decide...
Q. What is it that you would want to have? Is it more security, Connection or love?
Q. Would you like to be more decisive, consistent and balanced?
Q. Do you blame others for your problems in your Life? And how people make you feel?
Q. Are you a people pleaser? - Do you say yes to people, when you want to say no and vice versa?
Q. Do your words reflect you intentions?
Q. Are you distracting yourself from the main problems you have in your life? i.e binging on Netflix till 3am? avoiding important messages? Eating a whole tub of ben and Jerrys?
We can change and we have the opportunity to grow, as soon as our desire to change becomes greater than our desire to remain the same.
3. To Be Decisive
Decisiveness is the key to effectively executing plans and achieving your goals and dreams in life.
It's important also to have a vision for your future, and to make a decision on who you want to actually grow to become. What is it that you actually want? We need to really sit down and decide on how we wish to live our life, how we can overcome our fears, visualise how we wish to see our life, to let go of trying to be perfect in the process. It's about really listening to our heart, head and our gut to find out what it is that we really want?
Q. Who can we grow to become?
We all have the capacity to grow and the potential to grow as much or as little as we wish to.
Remember that we can change and we have the opportunity to grow, as soon as our desire to change becomes greater than our desire to remain the same. It's just up to us to make a decision and to see it through.
People only get depressed or sad for a reason. When they don't have what it is that they want, or what they need, and they don't know how to get it. This causes them to feel sad and anxious.
If we move them away from what they don't want, and to what they do actually want instead. This can help to facilitate change that may be needed in shaping and transforming someones life.
Please ask yourself these questions with truthfulness and honesty: (Journal these questions and really think about them and your answer to each one)
Q. What do you want?
Q. What do you really want more of?
Q. What are you working towards?
Q. What is the goal?
Q. What do you want to change?
Q. What would you actually be willing to work towards instead?
We only feel stressed out in life, when we feel we are running out of time or we don't have enough space or time.
Stress = time and limited space.
I help people as a mental health practitioner, to help others to focus on goals that inspire them, and that they actually do want. As well as the outcomes that they want to see in any area of their life. This will then help to bring order and structure into their life.
It's asking - what is your head saying, what is your heart saying and what is your gut saying? and going with that...
I am also here to offer positivity, useful perspectives and a little bit of guidance to help people to get back on track with their life and their visions for their life.
When someone doesn't have any positively framed goals, they have a tendency to focus on what they think, how they feel, what they believe and they're experiences they are having now in their current state.
And it's how you feel in life is often the main problem - their feelings, often we don't like the way we feel, especially if it's negative and painful, we can often feel overwhelmed by how we feel and the emotions that can come up from this feeling/s that we have.
Often we will feel like we are stuck in a rut, depressed, anxious, sad, crushed or feel frustrated.
The work that I do is to facilitate space in helping people towards what they do want in life, what they want more of, what they ideally want to have? And to find out what triggers them to feel how they feel and the emotional state that they are in.
As a Professional helper, Achologist Practitioner - which is applied psychology - is to help people to grow and to become more acquainted within themselves, and to improve the quality of their lives, or to improve their performance by talking through problematic situations. To help people to set and achieve goals, improve relationships, improve effectiveness (personal). And by helping to direct a person along a path leading from their present state to their desired state. To what it is that they want or need more of in life.
To Be Continued...
If you would like to share your comments to the questions that I asked in this blog post, please do share your thoughts and if any of the questions helped you to see things from a different perspective or help you to re-clarify your wishes and goals for the future?
I would love to hear your experiences and if this post was helpful to you in any way.
Please Like and share with anyone you think might want to find more clarity or understanding.
And if you feel the need at any point to reach out to me to get the help and guidance that you might need, to help you to move forward and to find some more peace, calm and contentment? Please don't hesitate to get in touch with me. My email address is pureblissretreats@mail.com I look forward to connecting with you.
Best Wishes to you as always and I look forward to sharing the other 3 ways that you can have a healthy and robust mental health journey.
Kelly
Email at pureblissretreats@mail.com
Website: www.pureblissretreats.co.uk
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